From the very first episode of Brooklyn 99 I found myself relating heavily to Jake Peralta, who is initially introduced as the show's protagonist. I had related to many ADHD-coded characters over the years without realizing it, but this was the first time that I could actively connected traits with my diagnosis. It was comforting to see someone successful as a police detective, even a fictional one, be successful with such obvious ADHD coding.
Dissociation is also a good way of explaining “fight, flight, or freeze” with dissociation being the act of freezing. The brain feels that it cannot escape, and so attempts to leave the situation mentally. This is why people experiencing high levels of stress or perhaps traumatic events may not fight back - the brain is preventing them from doing so in an attempt to keep the harm to as much of a minimum as possible. It is an involuntary reaction and not the fault of the person experiencing it.
That year is, in a way, in pieces for me. Some pieces are clear with sharp, jagged edges that cut me like glass even now. Others are like fog I can put my fingers through without grasping, without feeling the edges, without knowing what to feel or what I felt then. Mental illness can really fuck with your memory of things, more than your brain can on its own. It’s terrifying to think that my version of events is, at best, my version - that everyone else’s was different, that everyone saw me in a different way, and that every time I remember this I am only remembering the last time I remembered it.
This past Saturday, I found that winter had made its home outside my window. I opened my dark blue curtains and squealed with delight to see big, fluffy snowflakes falling steadily down outside. After I had eaten I found myself rushing to put on a coat and hat, cutting the ends of the fingertips off… Continue reading A walk in the snow
I wrote a guest post on a mental health blog I rather admire. Check it out!
The emerging blogger series is aimed at community building through giving mental health bloggers who are early in their blogging evolution the opportunity to have their work seen by a wider audience. It’s also a way to introduce you as a reader to some newer members of our community.
This post is by Elle Rose from Secretladyspider.
I’m going mad again. Oh my god, I’m going mad again.
There’s something right outside the building, right outside the glass, but the world is flattened. It’s like we’re just some weird jigsaw puzzle and I will only exist if I go outside, but then if I go outside I won’t exist anymore. That’s it, isn’t it? But what sense does that make?
Should I just give up and give in to it? What am I fighting for?
The girl in the glass looks back at me with blue eyes…
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The mental health work injury called PTSD has destroyed millions and disrupted the lives of those who have been touched by its symptoms. Yet, like all forms of mental illness, it goes unrecognized as a legitimate work related injury with in the service. But I ask you: how is it different than any other injury?
I was surprised when I continued, even in the face of recovering from depression as well as bulimia recovery, to feel distant from the world around me. It was as if I were watching myself from above, but simultaneously I was buried somewhere deep under my skin, unable to really connect to the world I was feeling.